Rabu, 26 April 2017

sex wo

well, hello there, young man i would like one glass of lemonade, please also provide hajar jahanam but, of course, good looking stranger. that will be seventy five cents. oh, dear, it seems i do not have any money at the moment.

sex wo
oh, no, how will you ever pay for your glass of lemonade? oh<i think we could come to another arrangement. (music) (laugh), it's so gross.

hey, someone being using my razer cause it has more hair in it right now than i have on my whole body. i'm looking at you skipper. holy *, oh god, oh, no no no, where did you get this? i told you girls to stay away from the box in the bottom of my secret cupboard saying do not touch, this is private it'll scar you for life! it's on the internet, barbie. what?

barbie, you can't label something 'do not touch, this is private. it will scar you for a life' and not expect to get looted and released to the media. it was in my secret cupboard which is labelled with secret cupboard. who would do this to me? no, no, you know what? whatever. leaked sex tapes are responsible for countless

career resurgences, kim kardashian, paris hilton, screech from 'saved by the bell'. i am on the up, baby. but let's just keep this from your dad, ok? you know how he gets he'll tell us not to panic and then he'll panic. barbie, i used your razor yesterday, because my chest was...oh my god,

what is that? why are the children looking at it... don't panic. i'm panicking. ken, calm down, it's just a leaked sex tape, no biggie. oh no this so bad, which one? is the one with the avocadoes and the leather pantsuit or the one with the superglue and the guinea pig? i think it's the one with the jug of sangria and the dirty linen hamper.

mother of goodness, no. is it on the news? sure is dad, tmz, cnn, oh look buzzfeed already has an article entitled '18 creative uses of common household objects we learned from the barbie and ken sex tape'. apparently, numbers 4 and 11 might shock me.

barbie, if this is public, it means yasmin is going to find out about our affair. oh s**t. no, it's fine, we can just pretend it's an old tape that we filmed before we broke up. no such luck barbie i can see the lucky charms leprechaun tattoo that you got on your butt this year. damn me and how drunk i got on st patrick's day!

what are we going to do? about what? oh my god, where did you come from? well, originally cleveland. ooh...what are you guys looking at? nothing... the computer is broken, and the girls were just leaving. actually, we were just watching...finish that sentence and i'll finish your life! barbie trying to fix the computer, because you know, she is a computer engineer.

ok, bye now. run! guys, run! oh, my world, yasmin, you are just the person i wanted to see. i um... i think i lost an earring under the couch earlier. i need you to look for it. you need me to look for it? yes, you specifically. i don't know

why i stop asking questions, i need my earring! look for it now. ok! oh god! what we are gonna do? we'll just have to keep away from all news sources until this whole thing blows over, the internet, newspapers, tv, other people, all of them! how long will that be? barbie, i can't see under the couch, it's too dark. oh my god, you are so unresourceful,

use the damn torch from my phone, and don't come back until you have my earring. we distract her for as long as it takes, ok? just keep thinking of activities we can do with her. the things that take a long time, the longer, the better. i didn't find your earring, barbie. it's funny you should lose an earring since you been wearing the same pair of earrings since i met you. eh. semantics.

oh, look barbie, you just get a text from your mama, she says, 'i just saw the news, you disgusting whore!' what news did she see? uhh..probably something about global warming, she is very environmentally inclined. and why she call you a whore? because i'm a whore. oh. ok, well, i should be going home now. no!

you can't leave. yet, because we were planing to ask you to help us to clean my car. what? yes, my car needs cleaning. all 25 of them do in fact. what a fun group activity that will probably take three, four, five hours or so. yay!

you guys are excited by stupid things. oh my goodness, barbie, you gonna get rid out of some your cars, why you gotta have so many? it's a little bit a way of displaying my immense wealth, but mostly, it's to fill the emptiness in my soul. ok, well, that was the last one. that was the last one? damn!

why don't you have more cars barbie? ok, this was fun, but i'm going to go home. no (repeated), you can't go yet, because we were just about to bake a cake. so it's a three hundred plus step french recipe that took the chef that created it ten years to perfect.

plus the use of his right arm and sixty percent of his vision. how long will it take us? i don't know. it could a few hours. could take all night, could take the next few days, how good is that! i don't know, i do have some things i meant to be doing. well, you'd better cancel them, because after we finish this, we're going to sort out my

handbag collection. oh, my dear yeezus, and i thought you had too many cars. now, barbie, do you want this handbags sorted by color? size? or frequency of use? what a good question ken. i think we should trial all all of those different ways and then i'll make a decision

as to which way i like best. that will take such a long time. yes, it will. barbie, i'm super sleepy. can we do your handbags another day? no, no! we can't. barbie, we can't keep her here forever, just let her go home for the night. think about it, ken,

if she goes home, she will turn on her car radio, she'll hear the news headlines, she'll check her computer, her phone, she'll listen to her answering machine filled with commiserations from her friends over the situation, she'll drive pass the billboards. billboards? billboards! you don't want to me to go home because of billboards?

i don't want you to go home because we are having a slumber party. ya? yes, we are! and you know what the best slumber party activity is? what? sleeping while we keep a close eye on you. oh, fun! i can't do this anymore, barbie.

i'm so tired. can't we take shifts? no, we got in this mess together, we are gonna deal with it together. but i'm running out of ideas of how to keep her distracted. well, we are just gonna have to get creative. morning, yasmin! we're so glad you're up. we are going to build a house of cards. we've got

1,752 decks of cards to use. and the rules are if a card falls over, you knock the whole thing down, and you start again. yay! look, yasmin 100,000 piece jigsaw puzzle of the vatican city.

it's to scale. (music) big finish, guys. if you wanna be my lover (sing). i can't sing any more karaoke, i'm losing my voice. oh come on, just a few more songs. a couple more. like another 50ish we 'll just sing for the rest of the day, ok?

ok, it's settled then. good idea, yasmin! oh, oh, ken's favorite. oh it's ken's favorite. yasmin, we're excited to present you a play that we have written in your honor. it's entitled 'karbie and ben's unfortunate incident'.

it's a 10 hour epic, so i hope you've peed already. listen, i gonna call my friends and tell them i haven't seen them in four days because i'm still at the world's longest slumber party. no phones in the theater!! okay here we go, and begin. hello, ben. hello karbie. what are you doing?

i am just reading this large book of shakespearean sonnets. gee, i would love you if you would read them out loud to me. ok, i will. starting with page one. it's been a week, barbie, a week! we haven't slept in a week. how is our sex tape still the

biggest news headline. we're just too damn great at sex, the world is eating it up. we can't go on like this. you're right. what we need to do is to get her sent away somewhere where she doesn't have access to news sources. just for a few weeks at least. like where? like rehab! but she's not addicted to anything.

we can change that. oh, man, don't you just love alcohol? ahh... it's ok, i guess. have a drink yasmin. have a couple of drinks. have a bottle? no, thank you. hey, yasmin, don't you wanna do some gambling? lots of gambling? like excessive gambling? no. shopping?

no. questionable sexual activity? i don't think that it's questionable. pills? oh yes, pills? she likes pills, ken. yasmin, we believe that your love of pills - has become unhealthy. we want to help you address your problem before it becomes out of hand. we know a place where you can go to

recover. it's super discreet. we'll take you there now, and pick you up in a few months. wait, did you say pills? oh no, i thought you said bills. bills? yes, like men who are named bill. i said i like bills. because my neighbor's name is bill. and he fixed some light globes for me once. he's such a nice bill.

i feel like washing the cars again. anyone else? barbie, we can't go on. we've tried everything. the dream to keep this shameful secret hidden away from her forever is fading away like my dignity to summer of 73 when i woke up in a kiddie pool filled with jello in my own vomit . we have to think of something.

there is nothing else. yeasmin can move into the dream house permanently. no secret is worth that. we may have to keep this up until we die. or until she dies. oh, we can smother her with the pillow right now, it will be so easy. we couldn't. she wouldn't feel a thing, it will be peaceful. no barbie, we can't kill yasmin. what other

choices do we have? we can tell her. you're talking crazy. we haven't slept in 8 days, you're just losing your cool. barbie, it's time. she will kill us. oh, or maybe i'll kill her, accidentally, in self defence, i'll be acquitted for that easy! we're not killing yasmin. you are no fun. she's waking up. put the pillow down!

morning guys! what are you doing? yazmin, we need to talk. ok, what is it? first, i just want to say, you are amazing. oh, you are too honey. i think that sometimes in life people take things for granted and that people sometimes don't make any sense and they can

be stupid when they do things. are you saying i don't make sense? and you're stupid. no, no, i'm saying other people, not you, can do stupid things, because aggressive, sexually frustrated ex-lovers can be forceful and tempting. and sexy. and even though people have free will

to make choices. sometimes people don't always make the best choices at the time. what are you talking about? so the point are coming to maybe we should get you a glass of water first, because this may come as quite a shockto you. for mattel's sake ken rip the band-aid off already. yasmin, we've been having an affair. yes? and? what do you mean 'yes, and'? what is the thing you need to tell me?

we just told you that we've been havingcasual sex with each other behind your back since new years 2014. oh, but i know that already. what? how did you know? oh come on... i'm notblind, you sometimes have sex with each other while i'm still in the room. damn,thought we were doing that subtlely. you're not so good as subtle. you have a secretcupboard you labeled 'secret cupboard'. does everyone know about that? wait... why didn't you say anything? i thoughtthis was an open relationship. i've been having sex with other peoplefor years too. wait! what i feel shocked

and betrayed right now. me too! i've kept this woman entertained and housed for over a week now for no good reason. oh my goodness, you're right, i've been herefor so long. i totally forgot about the date i was meant to go on last night. the what?i'm gonna call and apologize and reschedule. don't worry kenny, it won't interfere with our date night we have planned for this saturday. i don't know what's happening anymore. ok! well! thanks forthis slumber party. i had a super weird time. by the way i meant to tell you wheni first came over,

cool sex tape! i like what you did withjug of sangria and the dirty linen hamper. keep up the good work! ok, bye. (singing) even when you're out in the clubdon't think i'm not... huh! i think i respect her now. thanks forwatching please subscribe for more

sex wo,videos follow us on instagram twittertumblr facebook and snapchat and follow barbie on instagram links in thedescription below love sam and mickey do some bloody work. shut the hell up.

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